Chasin' Restoration

Our life at this moment is.....a little uncertain.  That seems absurd to even type.  Our life is nothing BUT uncertain.....ALMOST.  When it is uncertain, what can I look to for constancy?  What can I even hope to EXPECT?  Welllll, I CAN expect seizures.  :o(   I can expect LOVE.   Love comes to us from so many different places these days and in many different forms!!  I can expect restoration.....for both of us.

Somehow, sometime, some way.......we are restored just enough to keep on 'keepin on' down this bumpy path.  You know people often say/ask "I don't know how you do it!" to someone in a difficult situation?  (I often say that to anyone parenting multiples!!)  I am told that often, and frankly, I don't know either!!  I have told you before that there are dark days or moments of despair on this journey, and just when I think surely I have reached the end of my functioning---I mean, literally, I have had times that I thought to myself, "This must be it.  I have finally run of out 'gas' in my superhero mom tank."  Somehow, I find restoration.  The tank gets refilled.  It gets refilled, because it HAS TO BE.  It's restore or die.  Apparently, God knows of the heart promise I made to this child, and so HE delivers restoration to us in order to keep on 'keepin on'.

Just to be fair and for clarification, being restored in MY WORLD, does NOT in fact include washed hair, clean laundry OR a clean house--just for starters.  Not even does it include business affairs fully caught up (darn bills are always a couple days late, lately!), trash at the curb on the correct day, beloved friends called back when you meant to :o) (I LOVE YOU!), or fully stocked groceries...yada, yada.  BUT, it might include a clean baby girl :o), who has had all her meds on time (the apocalypse may come but Olivia's meds WILL be on time!!), plenty of sleep, lots of giggles, playtime with her toys, lots of cuddles, a walk in the fresh air if the temperatures permit, hanging out w/our newest family members the Magills or H & J, seeing my Hopelink ladies, and maybe clean sheets on our bed.  :o)

Olivia is restored time and again in an almost supernatural way--sometimes right before my eyes, and sometimes it is a more gradual process.  As worrisome as it is as her mother to wait patiently, God has been faithful to restore her each time she has been dealt a blow.  How thankful I am for that!!!  I like to think of myself as God's assistant down here when it comes to Olivia--LOL.  Sometimes, that means--while I'm waiting patiently, WINK*WINK*--pushing for therapies, braces, meds, etc.  :o)   But, as her body is depleted OFTEN by the unwelcome, permanent guest of Dravet, her spirit NEVER is. 

In the Dravet community, we call our kiddos "Tigers", and we are "Tiger Parents".  (Kind of ironic, since my school mascot growing up was the Tigers.)  Olivia IS a Tiger, indeed!!  I have much more on this topic coming in my next post about resilience.......stay tuned.


May you feel restored in this moment.....whatever that means for you.  ;o)